Getting out of the boat

So, I was talking to Ludwig last night about Peter walking on water, and how even though a lot of people focus on the fact that he lacked faith and started drowning, he is the only one besides Jesus who WALKED ON WATER! He had the faith that allowed him to walk on water.

The disciples didn't even recognize Jesus. They thought it was a ghost. I remember hearing a sermon once that asked "Do you have the faith to get out of the boat?" I don't know if I recognize Jesus in the midst of storms, when things get hard, when there is a lot going on... I don't know if I would get out of the boat. I'm scared to drown. I guess if you think about it though, Peter was the safest because he was the closest to Jesus. So when he started to drown, Jesus was able to reach out and immediately lift him out of the water. Jesus says that if we have the faith of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. I don't know if you've ever seen a mustard seed, but they are really freaking tiny. My cross country coach gave us each a mustard seed as part of this inspirational thing before a race. I dropped and lost mine within a minute. Like I said, it's freaking tiny. But all we need is the faith of a mustard seed, the faith to just get out of the boat, and God will move the mountains, or save us from drowning. I feel like I have 1/10th the faith of a mustard seed. I'm still scared to get out of the boat. But maybe drowning wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, because only then could I experience the saving grace of Jesus.

How sure should I be about something before I put all my marbles in? And how do I know if my certainty meets that requirement on an objective scale? At what point do you accept that it may just never happen?

It's been a long time...

...I shouldn't have left you.

I was about to write that not much has happened, but that's actually not the case. I went to Vegas with my man and saw lots of cool stuff and had a good time AND walked away with a little money in my pocket :)

In other news, I am registered to take the PHR test (again) on May 5, and I refuse to fail again. It's pretty long but very do-able. And I think I am going to apply to a couple more business schools. My talk with the admissions person at Northwestern was pretty discouraging and pretty much knocked me off my horse for a few months. But when I look back on it, it wasn't really terrible. Yes, I should have sent my stuff in sooner. And it's understandable that they would want more management experience. But those aren't things that I can't change. In the meantime, I'll just apply to schools whose bar is set a little lower. I'm all about lowering my standards anyways. Can't do a pull up? It's ok, there's the flexed arm hang. Can't speak Korean very well? It's ok, there's a translator app.

...just kidding. I mean, I'm signed up for the Berlin marathon in September and there's no lowering the bar for that. It's 26.2 miles or... 26.2 miles. Do or die. I miss running. I miss the liberation and pain. Is it just me or do those two things seem to go hand in hand? ...yeah, it's probably just me.